I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
