3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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