I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
