THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
