I can tuck mytits in my pants
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
should my penis look like a turkey
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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