Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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