i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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