You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
