just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
