Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
