And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
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