I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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