Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
