New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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