That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
