Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
