what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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