**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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