Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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