Define "chronic" masturbator.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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