Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
