just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
