I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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