I love black thongs
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Randomize
