1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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