it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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