my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
