Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Actions speak louder than pants.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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