I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
