im about as happy as oj after his trial
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
This baby is an asshole
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Randomize
