Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
