physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
