You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Come on in and take your pants off
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