We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
