I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
