Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
