we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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