if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
