That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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