Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
