After last night, I could never be a politician.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
