Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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