is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
