I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
