literally had 100 drinks last night.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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