You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
