i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
