@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
