Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
