Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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